Pearls & Lace

Revelation is KEY to the Christian walk. It changes everything. The majority of this post is from the notes I took while watching a teaching from Barry Bennett called, "The Effectual Fervent Prayer of a Righteous Man."  I want to make sure that I give him credit where credit is due! I am so thankful for his faithfulness to share what God shows him! Before having Judah, they found two complex cysts on my right ovary. Since having him, they found that those cysts had merged together and made one bigger one and that a new one had also formed on my left ovary. It was bummer news to get right after the tragedy we experienced. That’s all I’m going to say about it though, because I got a little revelation about how much we talk to people about our problems and speak more life into our issues than speaking life into our promises of health and wholeness. So I am really trying to work on not talking about my problems all the time and talking about the promises that God has ...

Before conceiving Judah I battled terribly with fear, but God had already begun bringing me to new levels once I became pregnant with him, and so going through this has only refined me even more. He did not cause this, but He has brought goodness out of it, because He is the God of restoration. Right after my two week stay in the hospital, loving on our son once he was born and then having him die in my arms, I battled a lot with, "How else should I have prayed/I must not have had enough faith/I didn't use my authority over my body and my son's body correctly/etc." I still have to fight those thoughts . Even after this happened, I had a very hard time even praying for others, because my prayers hadn't seemed to work anymore. The son that we prayed and believed for had only lived for 40 minutes. I remember in the middle of the night, not long after we came home from the hospital, Bryan was sick in the bathroom. I remember starting to pray for him and then th...

As I roll over in the early morning hours, with your little crocheted blanket that was wrapped around your tiny body tucked close to me, I look at your Daddy. In the dark shadows of his face, I can actually see your face, and behind him I see your stuffed animal sitting on his nightstand (he says it brings him comfort). You looked so much like your Daddy; you had his nose and his curled lips. I bet you would have even had his green eyes.  Our first morning after sleeping at home, I was half asleep and that was the first time I saw your face when looking at your Daddy’s. I reached over and placed my hand on his face thinking it was you and was quickly brought to reality when I felt his beard. I lay there and cried as I kept rubbing his face, only to have him wake up crying as well. We then just held each other close and cried as we talked about how much we already missed you. We missed you the moment the nurse told us you went on to Heaven. The morning you were born came so ...